Time Well Wasted...

A Slice of Satirical Analysis

Q is very much looking forward to his retirement - Far away from 007.

 

Altered this classic Cracked Comic featuring Q and 007.
(The original can be found in Blog Post: Some Light Bondage)

Taking absolutely no credit for the artwork - Simply changed the words pertaining to the pie chart.

GoldenEye 007 "Beta" Stuff
Definitely the motivation to acquire a Gameshark.

It's highly possible that I've spent more time messing with the GoldenEye 007 game than I have actually playing it. While the size of the slice might be exaggerated, it's not that far off...

Destructive Prowess
With twenty tanks to be destroyed in the Bottling Room, one rises to the challenge.

Making The Rounds...

Sneaking around with the "Bond Invisible" Cheat in the Facility.
There's often a Scientist that gets caught in the crossfire on the first floor.

Decided to follow this Scientist while Invisible, just to see what he's up to...

This guy walks around, looking busy - without doing any actual work.
He must be the Supervisor.

Just for fun, I decided to give the walking Scientist a more prominent role.

The Scientist patrolling the level intro in place of the guard.

A Russian Soldier guard normally appears on one of the level intro cameras...
Instead, the Scientist takes his place. Basically switched the two characters around.

00 Agent Facility in 1:54 - ZERO DAMAGE!

I AM INVINCIBLE! (And Apparently Bulletproof)

Managed to do the unthinkable.
Cleared the 00 Agent Facility in GoldenEye 007 without taking so much as a scratch.
Still with perfect health, finishing within the Target Time.

 

Absolutely incredible. Couldn't believe it.
How on earth was this even possible?

Whoa.
"I'm not the one. I'm just a regular guy."

 

No Damage Clear

Wasn't even consciously aware that my health was full.
Knew I had done well, but it wasn't until pausing to access the Door Decoder that I realized my health meter was fully intact.

 

Perfect Bond Indeed...

With practice, I've been able to make it upstairs to the lab in excellent health.
On this particular run, Doak was in the side lab. No good for setting a new personal best time, but still needing some practice in the Bottling Room, I'm always up for it.

Half of Everything is Luck...

Ducked in to start the conversation with Dr. Doak and one of the Russian Soldiers pulls a grenade in the hallway.

Wipes out all of his comrades (without more than 2 Non-Military Personnel).
(Have FAILED the mission many times because of guards killing Scientists!)

Suddenly surrounded by silence, I proceed to waltz right out like I own the place.
Doesn't even feel like it really happened.
Somehow, it made me put down the controller, walk away and reflect...

Like something out of Pulp Fiction...
Sam Jackson wonders how the hell he didn't get shot and killed by those motherfuckers.

 

Other Factors:

It was on console, not the ROM.
Recently started using the technique of a tiny piece of paper on the screen to aim while running.
Nailed a few crucial guards with perfect headshots using the Silenced PP7.

Had just hit new best times for the Facility on Agent, Secret Agent, and 00 Agent.
Hit a new personal record for 00 Agent Facility just hours earlier.

Without a doubt, I've never been this good at GoldenEye before. Hadn't played in ten years.
After three months of practice, definitely in the zone.

Of course I'm nowhere near as good as the best players in the world.
Still, it's an unforgettable GoldenEye moment that I was lucky enough to achieve.

 

Took a break after several dozen runs in the afternoon. Picked it up in the evening, and it happened several attempts in. Had also gone for a nice long relaxing nature walk before dark.

Also cranked down the music - Which I still enjoy, and somehow am not sick of yet...
But it is a bit of a distraction, and I'd rather be in tune with the SFX.

And finally, just switched up to a (slightly) better N64 controller.

 

Also realized that it was on my original GoldenEye 007 game cart - So worn out that it won't load if fully inserted. Definitely has sentimental value.






For the actual strategy pages, see Blog Posts:
"Speedrun For Invincible" and "Earning Invincible - It's Infuriating!".

Open Sesame!

Baiting and Luring...

The strategy for unlocking the GoldenEye Facility Cheat was turned upsidedown with an alternate method...

Not only is it possible to hit the Target Time by tricking one of the guards to unlock the Bottling Room door, but with some fine-tuning, it's even good enough to earn a record-setting performance.

Of course, speaking with Doak is a requirement to actually pass the mission on the higher difficulties - But actually using the Door Decoder on the door itself takes up precious time...

Having to pause the game, select the decoder, and wait a few more precious seconds for the door to open...

This "outside of the box" strategy involves proper timing. One of the guards on the other side can be "tricked" into opening the Bottling Room door for you.

Requires Bond to enter the biggest lab (of three, where Doak can sometimes be found). If Bond fires his gun while running into the far corner, it can be loud enough for the guard to hear through the walls.

It costs a bit of time, but if done right, that time is more than made up when you arrive at the Bottling Room door just as the guard is opening it.

While it seemed a bit ludicrous, it was definitely fun to play around with.

A very quick map illustrating Bond's route towards the Bottling Room, with an "X" marking the guard who ultimately opens the door:

FACILITY
Partial Map
(Upstairs Lab Areas & Bottling Room)

Objective B is to locate Dr. Doak

At first, it was pretty much just something to try on a botched run - After going all that way upstairs to not be rewarded with a Dr. Doak encounter.

It seemed like just a fun way to proceed with the mission, getting another round of practice with the Mines in the Bottling Room.

Seeing is believing. After watching a few videos, this method is undeniably here to stay.

Understandably, it took quite a long time to catch on as a solid strategy... Until someone actually set a World Record using this method. (The YouTube video is undeniably impressive... And dare I say that yet another second could possibly be saved in the Bottling Room - But placement of the two mines to destroy ten tanks is so crucial that it takes a second to ensure it's done perfectly. The person who eventually breaks this record will no doubt plant the mines while still running...)


After fooling around with this tactic on Secret Agent and pulling it off, definitely encouraged to eventually trying it as a 00 Agent.

The tradeoff is that it seems to require Bond to sacrifice yet another Remote Mine to deal with the increasing volume of guards that will inevitably catch up at this point...

Killing them all with a Remote Mine just as you enter the Bottling Room, so you can go to work without them shooting at you. This leaves just 2 Mines in the inventory for use on the tanks.

Impeccable placement of the Remote Mines in the Bottling Room (laid on the floor between the tanks, while Bond is looking directly downward) can have Bond destroying all ten tanks with just two bombs - Leaving three other Remote Mines to use on the legions of Russian Soldiers that will otherwise ruin your speedrun.

Definitely want to play around with this one some more.

With so many variations on technically finishing the Facility mission, what will they come up with next?

Also wondering how many N64 controllers have been worn out on this mission alone.
Definitely on the hunt for yet another official Nintendo 64 controller.

Let There Be Guards...

Whenever Bond finishes a mission, the game automatically "removes all guards from level" before the cutscene kicks in. (So the guards won't still be randomly attacking our hero as he exits in style)

Was curious to see what it looked like if all guards were NOT removed from the level.
Here in Bunker 1, deleted that one small instruction (ROM Modification).





In the Facility, Ourumov's troops keep firing away as Bond calmly makes his exit.

Calm and collected, Bond doesn't even flinch as he get shot...
(Fortunately, the bullet missed all vital organs)

In the Water Caverns, Bond reaches the end of the level and the elevator music quietly plays.

In this modified setup, the half dozen or so guards in the room continue to relentlessly fire at 007.

Guard opens fire at close range with his AR33 Assault Rifle.

On another playthrough, a guard pulls a grenade and wipes everybody out as Bond calmly puts his gun away.

The Water Caverns is definitely a favorite so far...

Cameras in the Workplace...

Martin Hollis dons a labcoat and patrols the downstairs...
The camera from the Facility's intro cinema has been pivoted to watch the character as the level begins.
(The typical Russian Soldier has been swapped for a Scientist)

Having entirely too much fun playing with the level intro cameras in the Facility...

Low angles, high angles...
Modifying all four intro camera shots just for variety - And to see what else is happening before the mission begins.




Like setting up a series of mini spy cameras...
(Or simply a CCTV camera that MI6 Agents have hacked into)
Spying on Alec as well.
(I just don't trust the guy)


Adjusted the camera slightly...


This overhead shot of the bottling room needs some work.
Camera is a bit crooked (just like the Agent in question).


A shot looking straight down could be neat...

(Modified Bond to start between the Bottling Tanks)

It's particularly amusing when guards are patrolling.
This shot captures a stationary guard and one that's on the move.

Upstairs Laboratory area. Almost picture perfect.
Adjusted so it would be above the guards' heads.

Previously, this camera was overlooking the bottling room.
The slightly downward angle made it ideal to perch it up high.

Lighting in the Bottling Room...

One of three opening camera shots from the Facility Bottling Room...
[The furthest angle]

As the Facility level intro camera fades out, Alec Trevelyan can just briefly be seen walking on screen (from left).

Normally the scene fades just as Alec steps into it.
Some assistance from a surprise "camera flash" that lights up the entire screen...

These "flashes" are happening because Bond is being shot...
Just a funny side effect that occurred as Bond's starting position was modified to begin the mission in the upstairs hallway...

In this case, even before the player takes the controls, guards are shooting at Bond, taking serious damage.
(Normally, Bond starts someplace where guards won't immediately spot him)

Just for fun, here's a snapshot of a bullet passing right through our immortal action hero.

There's a leftover preset in this spot (presumably from beta testing) that just happens to be in the hallway, right where one would preferably like to encounter the Double-Agent Dr. Doak.

Random point of interest - In Multiplayer, your character won't spawn at a start point if another player is too close to another player.

In this case, it appears as if Dr. Doak will not "randomly" appear in the upstairs lab if Bond is there.
Decided to put a camera up there to see what the hell is going on...

Managed to sneak a camera into the upstairs Laboratory.
Here's the level intro cinema sequence, fixed on the ideal Dr. Doak spot.

Of course, it would be totally cheating to know that Doak was here ahead of time - Especially before starting a speedrun. Being playfully inclined to meddle with the game just to see what happens, I couldn't resist.


Still playing that game of Russian Roulette, and Dr. Doak will not appear before the intro camera.

Doak spawns in the spot - But only after Bond's character is loaded into the level.
(Seems the intro camera just missed capturing him...?)

Seems Dr. Doak will NOT spawn if Bond is not loaded (or active)...

To complicate things even further, the event that actually triggers the spawning of Dr. Doak is when Bond enters the Restroom.

So technically, the Double-Agent isn't even in the building until 007 drops down from the ventilation shaft.


Totally blows my mind... Attempting to have Doak appear on the intro screen may have been a waste of time - But relatively entertaining (and nowhere near as frustrating as trying to finish within the target time).


(Something similar happens in Statue Park when Bond must locate the helicopter Black Box. One of several presets is randomly chosen as the game is underway)




Despite not accomplishing what I had hoped, still had fun tinkering with the level setup. It's often a long time between editing sessions, and stuff has to be re-learned each time.

Stumbled upon a few more interesting things about the Facility level - One of the most complex missions in the entire game, in terms of what's happening in the background. The later missions in the game are much more streamlined.

Like many people, I'm sure that I've spent as many (if not more!) hours modifying GoldenEye 007 than I have actually playing the game...

Half of Everything Is Luck...

Wasting precious seconds to find Doak hiding in one of the upstairs labs...
James Bond can only hope to make it to the bottling room alive...

FACILITY, 00 AGENT: SPEEDRUN FOR "INVINCIBLE"  [Clearing the Facility within the Target Time of 2:05]  00 AGENT FIELD REPORT: Estimating that it's ten-times more difficult to unlock the "Invincible" Cheat in GoldenEye 007 than it is in Perfect Dark. Took a few weeks to get back into game form - Approximately ten days of practice runs (about an hour per day) before finally unlocking the game's most difficult Cheat.  POST-MISSION VITAL STATISTICS: Attempts 307 Aborted Missions 129 Curse Words Uttered 27,604 Times Shot to Death in Upstairs Laboratory Area 41 Guards Slapped to Death 4 Times Dr. Doak Failed to Appear Upstairs 141 Green Soldier Hats Picked Off 65 Successful Door Decoder Handoffs 23 Times Shot to Death Opening Bottling Room Door 11 Times Shot to Death in Bottling Room 3 Number of Times Alec Trevelyan Dies in Explosion 2 Female Scientists Seduced 0 Dr. Doak Look-Alikes Encountered 44 Flasks of Vodka Swiped 9 Grenades Collected 3 Number of Q Gadgets Returned From The Field Undamaged 0

Speedrun For Invincible...

(00 Agent Facility 2:05)

Earning Invincibility in GoldenEye 007 takes a bit of luck - And a lot of skill.

Managed to unlock the Cheat using the Silenced PP7 while encountering Dr. Doak in one of the upstairs labs (instead of the hallway).

Generally opt to cruise my way through the level with the PP7, only switching to the KF7 Soviet to eliminate four specific guards: The two guards outside the Laboratory area (the patroller and the stationary guard), plus the two guards immediately before the bottling room (both have their backs turned, if you've been stealthy).

After a couple of failed attempts, felt the frustration setting in.

In sports, you can channel your anger to become stronger - Doesn't work the same way in video games.
Also remember that Michael Jordan's philosophy is to practice as hard as he plays.

Almost ready for a break - But opted for another spirited practice run.
Giving it my all, without expecting the payoff...

Compilation of screenshots from a few other good runs:

Darting in and out of the little death room to activate the security door.

Strafing sideways gives you speed. Can sometimes even make it to one of the brown doors inside this long hallway without even being shot...

Sacrificing a Remote Mine to eliminate three guards in the long hallway.

Sliding into the problem area, and chucking a mine into the distance - And then ducking behind one of the protective walls while detonating.

Quickly strafing through immediately when it's safe (attempting) to collect a couple KF7s while dodging the gunfire and racing for the door(s)...

Clearly posted above the door: No Bonds Allowed.

Strafing side to side makes it difficult for guards to lock their fire on you.
Activate the door, strafe to the side, strafe inside, close the door, and repeat...
Closing the sliding doors behind you will slow down the guards, and stop a few bullets from hitting you in the back.

Skipping the level intro scenes is also important...

Guards patrol during the opening cinematic, directly impacting WHERE you encounter these guys - And which way they'll be facing.

As the guard in the main hallway walks away from the bathroom, Bond could be sneaking behind his back. Some guards are pacing back and forth in a small area, while others have a longer route.
Part of the challenge is that each soldier is marching to a different drum.

(Try exploring with the Bond Invisible turned on...
Can't unlock new Cheats, but may gain valuable insight on what guards are doing)

Back to the speedrun: Through the "double doors" and the "T" intersection...

Become in tune with the rhythm of patrolling guards. Some of them can be avoided completely, simply by disappearing around a corner. They'll continue their patrol, none the wiser.

The above guard is exactly where I want him. Walking towards the Laboratory Area with his back turned.
Licking my chops like a Velociraptor ready to feed...

A few bursts of KF7 fire before entering the laboratory area.

Eliminating the patroller and the stationary guard - With just enough noise to get the other guard to open the door...
Too much noise and ALL the guards will be flooding down the stairs, jamming the path.

"Beg your pardon. Forgot to knock."

Guard just inside the lab can do anything to make or break the run...
He can crouch, roll, or even jump to the side....

These Soldiers will also duck, run, roll, jump and do any number of unpredictable things.

Coming off the stairs, the aim can be messed up.
And sometimes the guards just stare as if they're blind drunk...
(Other times they charge at you in a Vodka-fueled act of reckless bravado)



Fingers crossed that Doak is up here somewhere with that Door Decoder.
Three spots upstairs where he can be...

Upstairs patrolling guard is oblivious.

Shooting at the two guards behind this pillar before they can react...
Although on the previous run, one of them eagerly charged forward with his gun.

If Dr. Doak is in this ideal spot, the conversation text might appear before you actually see him...

No need to stick around.
The very instant text appears on the screen, you're all set to race for the Bottling Room.

Dr. Doak, hiding in the corner of the hallway.

Hauling ass down the hallway immediately as the conversation with Dr. Doak begins.
(He's a competent double-agent, and can complete the hand-off even if you're a hundred feet away)

Duncan Botwood was determined to stop me from finishing the level within the target time...
(He also performed one of his spectacular death scenes)

A quick burst of KF7 fire to eliminate the guards on the corner just before Bottling Room door -
Too many shots will rouse the guards stationed in other rooms.





Done the damned Facility so many times now that I could complete it in my sleep...

"I almost killed myself getting here..."

Really only need three mines to destroy the ten tanks...
But practicing this several times was key, so that muscle memory takes over.
Bond seems to chuck the mines with his right hand, so be just slightly offset (to your left).

With OBJECTIVE C: COMPLETED and OBJECTIVE D: COMPLETED appearing on the screen, strafe out of the Facility doors and hold my breath...

"I am Invincible!"

What a rush! Expecting to just barely hit the 2.05.
Couple of seconds to spare.
Also happy with my accuracy and kill count.

Normally score 15-17 kills on a speedrun like this.
Racked up 20. (Must have been in a particularly nasty mood)


Back in the  '90s, the thing to do was to try and attain the best time possible.
Managed to pull it off in 1:35. Even captured a video of 1:43.

Some of those tactics were pretty suicidal - A much more streamlined approach these days.
Stealthy, smooth and calculating - But stay alive more often.

Experiment. Improvise. Always have a game plan in my head - But things go awry in a hurry, and quick thinking on the fly can sometimes save your run.

More often then not, it's Abort Mission and try again.
(Seems to save on morale)

Know when to push through and learn new things...
Find more efficient ways to deal with certain guards and navigate corners.



It's a two minute thrill-ride where you can only imagine what it's like to be Bond...
James Bond.

Just Like The Movie...

Added a line for Alec here, from the film itself

Mad Science...

Scientists - The comic relief of GoldenEye's Facility level.
With a little provoking, one will get mad enough to pull a grenade.

The Mad Scientist decides to chuck a grenade that bounces off the wall...

And the hilarity ensues.
It's like the Roadrunner watching Wile E. Coyote blow himself up...